During my junior year of high school, I felt the dooming pressure of college applications. The competition and weight on my shoulders only grew heavier, and these feelings constricted my ability to do what I truly loved — create art. Every piece I created had only one purpose: to impress those looking at my application. My art became hollow and I couldn’t create for months. This struggle lasted until I was immersed in the SF Tenderloin.
My high school, St. Ignatius, offers an immersion program where students are put in different locations to learn about a social justice issue over the summer. A couple of other students and I were chosen for the Tenderloin, where we lived and learned for two weeks with the Faithful Fools. When I was first chosen for the TL, I was slightly hesitant. I only knew of the housing crisis and drug abuse that occurred in that neighborhood, and I had many worries and assumptions associated with the Tenderloin.
These worries were shut down the second I walked into the Faithful Fools. Inside the purple building exists an eccentric interior surrounded by art, creativity, and love. Every corner had something special and no space felt empty. The fools welcomed me into their home and opened the door to those who wanted to experience that hospitality as well. After a couple of minutes, the place already felt like home.
As I walked the streets of the Tenderloin, the vibrancy and creativity also struck me. Everywhere I went there were murals, music, fashion, and artists. Everyone was incredibly unique with the way they spoke, thought, dressed, and presented themselves. With a neighborhood that faces innumerable amounts of outside judgment and adversity, there is so much openness and spirit living within it. People weren’t creative to impress others, they were creative to authentically express themselves. The unconventional beauty and humanity of the Tenderloin, as well as the poverty that lived within it, made me feel like I was seeing the city for the first time.
When immersion ended, I felt empty. To this day, I feel that tug in my heart to go back and visit the Tenderloin community. When I was asked about my experience, I didn’t know how to express how I felt. I later realized I could convey some of my experience through art. After reflection and many sketches, I decided to create my piece, “FOREVER HOME,” to remind myself of the Tenderloin and what I witnessed. After creating this piece, it felt as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I wasn’t making art to impress others or get into college, I was creating from a place of love and expression. To foolishly express myself was unbelievably freeing.
As I move into the future, I carry with me the emotions, people, foolery, love, and memories of my time in the Tenderloin. “FOREVER HOME” is dedicated to the fools, communities I’ve encountered, and those who are forced to call the streets their home.